It's just like the Real World with babies
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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