this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Randomize
