problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
