and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
