help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
