nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
