You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
