Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
