my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
