Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
