is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
