my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
