Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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