i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
