i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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