I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
