Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
