Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
