we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
