Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
