ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
