someone get that fucking seahorse.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
