Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
