drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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