You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
