the condom got lost in my hair
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You took a bar mat shot.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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