hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
