ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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