when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
