just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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