I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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