I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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