what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
