i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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