It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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