what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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