he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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