I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize