Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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