She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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