After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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