They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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