Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Your dad touched me again.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
