While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
