worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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