she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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