K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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