Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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