How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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