She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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