we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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