I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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