Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
